“HELLO!”, A Tribute To Len Lesser, Seinfeld’s Uncle Leo

 

One of the most consistently hilarious recurring characters on Seinfeld was Jerry’s Uncle Leo, played by veteran actor Len Lesser, who sadly passed away on February 16 at age 88. As I knew him only as Uncle Leo (and also from his occasional appearances on Everybody Loves Raymond), I couldn’t possibly do justice to an overview of his entire career, but I can take you through some of the greatest Uncle Leo moments.

The Pony Remark, Season 2

In his first appearance, Leo is introduced as the very annoying and talkative brother of Jerry’s mother, Helen. At a family dinner, we are also introduced to the unseen character of Cousin Jeffrey, Leo’s son who works for the New York City Parks Department. Very proud of his son but unaware that his job may not be interesting to others, most of the humour from this appearance comes from Jerry’s reactions to the boring conversation. Still, Leo is here and what could have been a one-time character became a regular who would appear right to the very end.

The Wallet/The Watch, Season 4

The first to feature Leo as part of the proper plot was this two-part episode, in which Jerry throws a watch his parents gave him in a trash can on the street, only for Leo to fish it out again. Jerry fears his parents reaction and eventually, through a series of classic sitcom situations, he has to buy the watch back from Leo in the toilets of a restaurant. I’m also fairly sure this is the first time he says his catchphrase “JERRY! HELLO!” complete with the physical “hello squat” that always goes with it.

The Glasses, Season 5

“Your cousin Jeffrey loves to watch the Discovery Channel. Do you know what his favourite animal is? It’s the leopard! He likes the spots!”

The Pledge Drive, Season 6

It’s a long story but the image of Uncle Leo interrupting a live TV pledge drive and yelling into the camera “STOP THE SHOW!!” is one of my very favourite Seinfeld moments, and one that I always remember laughing hysterically at when I was young.

The Doodle, Season 6

It’s a long story but Jerry’s parents, Nana and Uncle Leo all get to use a hotel room at the expense of a company Elaine is being interviewed by, and when Elaine walks into the room towards the end to see the room completely trashed, she finds Uncle Leo lying on the bed.

Leo: “I thought they said they were sending an Asian woman?”

The Shower Head, Season 7

Perhaps Uncle Leo’s finest episode, The Shower Head saw Jerry make a joke on The Tonight Show about Leo always calling everybody an anti-semite whenever things don’t go his way, like the chef at Monk’s Cafe who overcooked his burger. Leo is offended by this but his girlfriend finds it hilarious, so he calls her an anti-semite and they break up.

The Package, Season 8

The Bookstore, Season 9

Jerry accidentally gets his Uncle into trouble over shoplifting in a bookstore, and when Leo finds out he isn’t happy. When Jerry attempts to apologise all he can say is “Hello?”, repeating Leo’s catch phrase in a tone that is too funny for me to explain in words. Later, when he runs down the street after Leo trying to say sorry again: “Uncle Leo, wait! Hello!”

Take a moment of your time today to say hello to someone (and don’t forget the hello squat), in memory of Len Lesser.

 

The Seinfeld Chronicles: The Stakeout (Season 1, Episode 3)

The Seinfeld Chronicles: a project in which I attempt to rate, review, analyse, ramble about, pick apart and generally pay tribute to every single episode of my all-time favourite TV show.

The Stakeout

Season 1, Episode 3

Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld
Directed by Tom Cherones

Starring Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards & Jason Alexander

Guest starring Lynn Clark as Vanessa, Phil Bruns as Morty Seinfeld and Liz Sheridan as Helen Seinfeld

Original aired May 31, 1990

Probably the best episode of the short first season, The Stakeout was the first to be aired when Seinfeld returned for its four episode run in 1990. It gives us backstory on the Jerry/Elaine former romance (they’ve just broken up but are remaining friends), introduces us to Jerry’s parents, and contains some of the strongest writing of the first few seasons. Despite the show still obviously having a low budget (a woman notoriously steps off the set in the opening scene) the whole team does such a good job and the characters and actors are working together brilliantly.

The basic plotline revolves around Elaine getting annoyed at Jerry flirting with another woman (Vanessa, who would reappear in a few episodes time) in front of her at a party, and Jerry “staking out” the woman’s workplace in order to ask her out on a date – because he, of course, can’t ask Elaine for her number. The focus is really on these two for this episode; George doesn’t show up until ten minutes in and Kramer isn’t seen until the fifteen minute mark, and each of them only have the one scene.

There is a lot of classic Seinfeld to be found in this episode, from the conversation about Art Vandelay and architecture between Jerry and George in the lobby of Vanessa’s building to Jerry convincing Elaine to come to a wedding with him because there’s “a lot of people to mock”. The awkward moment about not knowing whether to bring something to a birthday party is great, as is Jerry’s voiceover in that scene, and his reaction to Elaine’s boring story.

Morty and Helen Seinfeld appear for the first time, and although Morty’s character would obviously change when the actor switched from Phil Bruns to Barney Martin, Liz Sheridan has Helen all worked out straight away. Their scenes here obviously can’t compare to the classic Martin/Sheridan chemistry of later episodes but they do work really well together, and the Scrabble game in the next-to-last scene (“QUONE?!”) is especially funny.

The opening standup here about women and their checkbooks is stronger than in previous episodes, there are some funny throwaway lines (“Did your father ever get that hair weave?”), and The Stakeout feels like a rare early episode that is as funny as those from the Golden Age, while still retaining the slight awkwardness that runs through the first two seasons.

Superman reference: I think this must be one of the few episodes without one.

Funniest moment:

HELEN: (to Jerry) So who’re you looking for? Sophia Loren?
JERRY: That’s got nothing to do with it.
MORTY: How about Loni Anderson?
HELEN: Where do you get Loni Anderson?
MORTY: Why, what’s wrong with Loni Anderson?
HELEN: I like Elaine more than Loni Anderson.
JERRY: What are you two talking about?

Rating: 7/10

The Seinfeld Chronicles: Male Unbonding (Season 1, Episode 2)

The Seinfeld Chronicles: a project in which I attempt to rate, review, analyse, ramble about, pick apart and generally pay tribute to every single episode of my all-time favourite TV show.

Note: I’m doing these episodes in the order that they appear on the DVD boxsets, which I believe is the order they were produced. Male Unbonding was produced as the second episode but aired as the fourth.

Male Unbonding

Season 1, Episode 2

Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld
Directed by Tom Cherones

Starring Jerry Seinfeld, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richard & Jason Alexander

Guest starring Kevin Dunn as Joel Horneck

Originally aired June 14, 1990

Alright, this is the beginning of the “real” Seinfeld: the name of the show has been shortened to one word, our four main characters are in place, and the start of the proper four-episode first season is here with Male Unbonding. In this episode we focus on Jerry and his annoying childhood friend Joel, who continues to call Jerry and organise outings when it is clear they have nothing in common. The story focuses on his attempts to break off the friendship, and we also get our very first little subplots: George frets that an embarrassing incident with a piece of floss may have ruined his current relationship, and in the background Kramer attempts to set up his legendary “make your own pizza” business.

This is, predictably, an episode of firsts. Julia Louis-Dreyfus makes her debut appearance as Elaine, and in her one scene it is clear that she has chemistry as an actress with Jerry. Their banter here is a joy to watch, and they interact much more comfortably than any other character pairings in these early episodes. We also establish their background: they dated and broke up just before this episode (this possibly all happened in the long gap between the pilot and Male Unbonding, which would explain why she wasn’t around back then), but they remain close friends. We also see Elaine’s mean side for the first time when she tells a story of how she kicked a man in the groin once. He didn’t cry (like Joel did when Jerry tried to break up with him), but she got the cab.

George’s storyline is an odd one, as we only hear about it through his dialogue and never see any of it happen. But it contains a great (and very “Seinfeld”) pair of awkward moments: first when a string of floss comes flying out of his pocket on a date, and then when he decides to continue eating at a restaurant with a girl who broke up with him at the start of the meal. As in the pilot, he still acts as Jerry’s advisor, telling him to treat the frienship with Joel as if it were a relationship with a woman.

That break-up scene is done pretty well (and it has the distinction of being the first scene to take place in Monk’s Café), and it is Jerry’s first opportunity to do some real acting. He doesn’t really do that well but his famous mannerisms start to come through, as well as his obsession with detail and frustration when people don’t know which day of the week he is referring to when he says “next Wednesday”, a joke that would reappear a few seasons later in The Alternate Side. One thing in this episode that doesn’t happen later on is that Jerry actually looks up a number in an address book. In all later seasons one of the most unrealistic things about the show would be the fact that everybody knows every single number off by heart.

The stand-up in this episode is much funnier than the pilot, and I especially like the bit about having to walk through the maze of ropes at the bank even if there isn’t a line. What is even funnier, though, is the excuses Jerry and Elaine come up with in the last scene in order to get out of going out with Joel. The thought of them in a choir, let alone one that does an evening of Eastern European National Anthems, is utterly hysterical, and their pledge to go to the hospital and find out if they qualify as organ donors definitely goes against their trademark selfishness.

All in all this episode is an improvement on the pilot but we’re still on shaky ground. Again, most of the fun to be had here is spotting the firsts and the differences between this and later episodes. It does have some excellent lines though (George: I knew a man who took his vacation on his change/Jerry: Yeah, where’d he go, an arcade?) and is, of course, quite enjoyable.

Superman reference: The DVD special features tell me that in the original draft, George’s unnamed and unseen girlfriend was called Lois.

Odd pop-cultural references: In a deleted scene, Joel borrows a k.d. Lang tape off Jerry, at a time when k.d. Lang wasn’t nearly as famous as she is now. Jerry also really likes Bette Midler, as we find out much later in the series.

Funniest moment:

JERRY: (taking the phone from Kramer) Who is it?
KRAMER: Take it.
JERRY: Who is it?
KRAMER: It’s for you.

Classic example of Kramer not understanding basic human interactions.

Rating: 4/10

The Seinfeld Chronicles: Pilot (Season 1, Episode 1)

The Seinfeld Chronicles: a project in which I attempt to rate, review, analyse, ramble about, pick apart and generally pay tribute to every single episode of my all-time favourite TV show.

 

Pilot (alt. titles: The Seinfeld Chronicles/Good News, Bad News)

Season 1, Episode 1

Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld
Directed by Art Wolff

Starring Jerry Seinfeld, Lee Garlington, Michael Richards & Jason Alexander

Guest starring Pamela Brull as Laura

Originally aired July 5, 1989

I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t a fan of Seinfeld. Every night when I came home from school it would be on in our house, just before or during dinner, and it became a staple of our family viewing habits. Phrases, situations, and even little eye movements or facial expressions from the show have entered into the interactions I have with my family and friends so heavily that I am certain I would have a different personality and sense of humour had Seinfeld never existed. It is without question my favourite TV series ever, and since I like to talk about it at length I figured why not start a blog project in which I go through each episode and lovingly tear them apart, looking at the underrated jokes, the big famous moments, the then-unknown guest stars who would go on to bigger and better things and the incredible development of Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer, from the Pilot to The Finale.

Picture it: Sicily 1928 1989. The biggest thing on TV was The Cosby Show. Shows that debuted that year include The New Mickey Mouse Club, Quantum Leap, COPS, Saved By The Bell and Baywatch. Dynasty, Family Ties and Miami Vice would all come to an end. Hit shows were still very much based around families, think Roseanne, Who’s The Boss?, even ALF was just a family comedy with added alien guy. On July 5 at 9:30pm, NBC aired a pilot they had passed on for a show called The Seinfeld Chronicles. It was about a stand-up comedian and his two male friends, and it would start a sitcom revolution, becoming one of the most popular televsion shows of all time.

I tell you what though, you wouldn’t know it looking back. Compare it to shows like Friends or Modern Family (both unique but clearly influenced by Seinfeld): they seemed to have everything finalised immediately. Cast, set-up, relationships, everything seemed to fall into place quickly. But Seinfeld would be a bit wobbly for a good season and a half, and wouldn’t even become a phenomenon until season four. The best thing about the pilot is spotting all the differences between the show it was and the show everybody knows now.

Here is the big one: there is no Elaine. The female character here is Claire, a waitress at “Pete’s Lucheonette”. Claire and Pete’s would never appear or be mentioned again, and I like to think that she’s still working there with her big red hair. Every so often she might wonder whatever happened to that comedian and his friend. Of course, as of the second episode, they started eating at Monk’s Cafe, and it would have been nice if Claire turned up as a recurring character every now and again – she wasn’t that boring, she was even quite funny, she was just no Elaine. Jerry’s neighbour is called Kessler due to name rights confusion with the real Kramer, and he also has a dog which went the way of Claire and did not appear further. Even stranger is the fact that Kessler KNOCKS ON THE DOOR BEFORE HE ENTERS. I know, I know. I can hardly believe it myself, but it goes to show that the characters weren’t exactly fully developed yet. The music and opening titles are also completely different, which is fun to look back on as a curiosity, especially because the Seinfeld theme would eventually become so famous. And finally, Jerry has some nice windows in his apartment that would disappear in later episodes (also note that where Kramer’s door should be there is simply a painting).

For all these differences, the show is very much in full swing if we look at other aspects. Most importantly, the concept of Seinfeldian speak is here right from the first conversation about the placement of a button on George’s shirt (an exchange that would famously reappear at the end of the final episode). The thing is, co-creators and writers Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld don’t know that what they’re writing is “Seinfeldian”, so there is this complete lack of self-awareness that means the dialogue is free of expectations.

The basic plot of this episode is extremely simple: Jerry meets a woman named Laura during a stand-up tour, and she wants to come stay with him while she’s in New York for a seminar. No subplots, minimal dialogue about anything else. Jerry and George try to deconstruct the signals this woman is giving out, with Kessler weighing in every now and then (note that George and Kramer seem uncomfortable with each other in their only scene together – a far cry from the friends they would become) and this all leads to a surprise ending. In between all of this is scenes of Jerry’s stand-up material, which is on almost equal footing with the main storyline. I adore Jerry as a stand-up but his jokes here are fairly weak, and perhaps the funniest thing about his club scenes is the over-the-top laughter from those in the audience.

The Seinfeld Chronicles was an unremarkable show about three losers who talk about stuff. That basic premise wouldn’t change much over the years but the show went from unremarkable to stunningly consistent and funny, as the writing and acting got better and as the cast expanded. After a lukewarm response, some executive wrangling managed to get Seinfeld back for just four episodes – the smallest ever order of a sitcom on US TV – and the rest, you guessed it, is history. This episode is a fascinating curio and trivia goldmine for a show that would get much, much better.

Superman reference: Jerry wears an outfit that corresponds colour-wise to the classic Superman outfit.

Funniest moment:

JERRY (to Laura): Can I get you anything? Bread, water… salad dressing?

Rating: 3/10