The 100 Best Songs Of 2011: 50-41

50. PNAU ‘The Truth’

I still think this is the great lost U2 comeback single that never was. Pnau had impressed me before with ‘Embrace’ and they went beyond my expectations with ‘The Truth’. A desperate, angry love/hate song set to an insistent and occasionally stadium-sized beat, ‘The Truth’ should have been all over radio but was, for whatever reason, not hugely successful. The title appearing at the end of each chorus in a ball of incredulous anger is a truly effective pop moment.

49. RUPAUL ‘Responsitrannity’

The title of this song is enough to land it in my top 100, but beyond the novelty of ‘Responsitrannity’ is a rather serious message to be yourself. Being yourself is the message of most RuPaul songs, it’s true, but this is one is different – it isn’t just about self-confidence, it’s about taking responsitrannity for your own view of yourself. Don’t let anybody else bring you down, and don’t blame others if you can’t do something. Some truly great lyrics set to a hands-in-the-air beat and a catchy melody – this was Ru’s greatest musical achievement of the year.

48. BJÖRK ‘Crystalline’

You might have noticed that Björk did not appear on my top albums of the year list, and that’s because Biophilia was truly awful, the worst thing she has ever put her name to. Maybe one day it’ll reveal itself to be a masterpiece – wake me up when that happens. And what makes it even more crushing is that I absolutely love ‘Crystalline’, the first single. Just about the only song on the record to have any sort of notable melody, Björk starts growling over a music box and then suddenly the song goes H•A•M and harsh beats are coming at her out of nowhere. A gem in a sea of tuneless garbage.

47. KATE BUSH ‘Misty’

So this is what it’s come to: I’m a little turned on by a song about snowman sex. The much-discussed thirteen minute ‘Misty’ is the long, gorgeous centrepiece of 50 Words For Snow, and it reads like a snowpeople version of ‘The Man With The Child In His Eyes’. Girl finds snowman, girl and snowman get it on, snowman melts. It’s a genuinely heartbreaking tale with some beautiful little instrumental flourishes here and there that make this feel Christmassy even though it hasn’t got anything to do with Christmas. ‘Misty’ will make you pine for your very own snowman fuck buddy, but remember that if you love something, let it melt.

46. DAVID GUETTA ft. SIA ‘Titanium’

Few moments in pop this year were more thrilling that Sia’s crazed scream of “I AM TITAAAAAAANIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUM”. Two artists who I’m generally indifferent to, David Guetta and Sia have come together to create a dance epic from outer space, blasting out of the speakers and punching you right in the face with its ferocity. I wasn’t aware that Sia had the voice to pull this off, and the big kicks in the song come when David knows how to let the beat fall away for a minute and then come back with a bigger impact than before – a great lesson for any dance producer to learn.

45. NICOLE SCHERZINGER ‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’

Two stunning singles in a row from Nicole, who became a bit of a surprise success this year after I was worried ‘Poison’ would be a fluke. But ‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’ is a triumph, an excellent pseudo-ballad with ‘Irreplaceable’-style Dear John lyrics. It was a number one single in the UK, it did okay in the US and it was her solo breakthrough in Australia – but most of all it was just awesome.

44. KELLY ROWLAND ft. BIG SEAN ‘Lay It On Me’

If I had a pussy I would be popping it like crazy to this. There’s not much more to say, is there? Another slice of divine R&B from Kween Kelendria and Big Sean does a great guest spot. The chorus is just the title repeated over and over and yet it feels so good. Now back to pretending I’m Kelly in the privacy of my bedroom.

43. LEONA LEWIS & AVICII ‘Collide’

Why did this flop (sort of, number 4 isn’t really a flop)? I thought it was absolutely divine, and the exact sort of thing everybody wanted Leona to do. Stay the same, get slated. Do something different, nobody likes it. She can’t win, but whatever, this is fantastic. This “collaboration” with Avicii takes Leona is a direction she’s never been in before, and being a club diva really suits her big voice and knack for drama. She can bring the best out of a ballad, and ‘Collide’ proves, to me anyway, that she’s just as great on the dance floor.

42. BEYONCÉ ‘Countdown’

This is a serious contender for lyrics of the year. Even just “I’m all up under him like it’s cold – wintertime/All up in the kitchen in my heels – dinnertime” would make this an instant classic, but the sixties-meets-nineties vibe and Beyoncé’s energetic performance send this over the edge. Bey needs to ditch the boring ballads (but keep the good ones) and do more of this – homages to the past that still feel entirely fresh and exciting. And to think I didn’t like it at first! Oh, the fool I’ve been.

41. PAUL SIMON ‘Rewrite’

A living legend with nothing left to prove, Paul Simon is still serving up classics at 150 years of age. ‘Rewrite’ is an American story in the style of ‘Mrs. Robinson’, ‘The Boxer’ or ‘America’, and the lyrics will crush your heart. A Vietnam veteran who works at a car wash is writing a book based on his life, however he substitutes all the bad for superficial things like “car chases” in an attempt to forget the lowest points of his past. An unsettling tale of regret and misunderstanding, ‘Rewrite’ is a genius piece of songwriting.

16 Great Songs That Didn’t Make My Top 100 Songs Of The Year

Poor Havana Brown.

116. HAVANA BROWN ’We Run The Night’

115. R.E.M. ‘We All Go Back To Where We Belong’

114. NICOLA ROBERTS ‘Sticks + Stones’

113. MEAT LOAF ‘All Of Me’

112. KE$HA ‘Fuck Him He’s A DJ’

111. SHAKIRA ft. PITBULL ‘Rabiosa’

110. ALEXIS JORDAN ‘Hush Hush’

109. RIHANNA ft. JAY-Z ‘Talk That Talk’

108. TORI AMOS ‘Shattering Sea’

107. NICOLA ROBERTS ‘Everybody’s Got To Learn Sometime’

106. JAY-Z & KANYE WEST ‘Niggas In Paris’

105. COLDPLAY & RIHANNA ‘Princess Of China’

104. THE SATURDAYS ‘Notorious’

103. NICOLE SCHERZINGER ft. 50 CENT ‘Right There’

102. CEE LO GREEN ‘Anyway’

101. BJÖRK ‘Cosmogony’

Single Review: Nicole Scherzinger – ‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’

Nicole Scherzinger career recap in 25 words or less: unsuccessful reality show group, then mega successful Pussycat Dolls, several poor attempts at solo career, unexpectedly amazing single ‘Poison’, amazing single ‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’.

This Scherzinger revival has really come out of nowhere. I thought that Nicole would either continue the Pussycat Dolls with new back-up girls or fade into a low-key solo career (think Michelle Williams, maybe Kelly Rowland at a stretch). But ‘Poison’ was unbelievably good, a song that grabbed the listener within the first few seconds and refused to let go. ‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’ is possibly the most important single of “Scherzy’s” career so far – was ‘Poison’ a one-off or will Nicole be able to launch herself into long-term solo success?

Well she’s certainly on her way. Instead of immediately making itself known, ‘Don’t Hold Your Breath’ works itself into your brain gradually. I saw the video weeks ago and since then have very rarely not had the tune going around in my head (I was holding back a review until it was released in Australia but I’m sick of waiting). This chorus is just as brilliant and melodic as ‘Poison’ and the vocals are excellent, plus it is nice to have a current hit that feels like a ballad in spirit, even if it is way too fast to be considered one.

7/10

The 100 Best Songs Of 2010: #20-11

SCISSOR SISTERS

‘Night Work’

from the album Night Work

This album strikes a pretty good balance between fantasy and disappointing reality, and the opening track is the uplifting introduction a world that seems too good to be true. Using an extended clubbing-as-manual-labour metaphor, ‘Night Work’ slides along on a classic eighties riff and possesses perhaps the finest and most exciting chorus on the record, let alone those amazing lyrics. “You gotta keep on moving remember, this is what you asked for” – in the grand tradition of ‘Vogue’ and ‘Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough’, dancing in a club is no longer something you do for five minutes between drinking bitch beers and falling down the stairs – it is your duty and your calling.

NICKI MINAJ ft. EMINEM

‘Roman’s Revenge’

from the album Pink Friday

Oh god oh god oh god. This is the stuff dreams are made of. I get a small panic attack thinking about how much I love it. ‘Roman’s Revenge’ teams up the arguable king and queen of 2010: Eminem and Nicki Minaj, who morph into their respective alter-egos to provide us with the greatest song on Pink Friday. I could list all the best bits but I’d just be describing the song from start to finish. Of particular note are the video game sounds in the intro, the tension-filled stuttering beat, “rahh rahh, like a dungeon dragon” – oh look at me, I’m just describing the whole song. In conclusion, from the lyrics themselves to the way they are delivered with such force to Nicki’s spoken outro – everything about this is perfect.

KATIE MELUA

‘The Flood’

from the album The House

What a weird song this is. Produced by William Orbit but not sounding immediately “Orbit-ish”, ‘The Flood’ is the sort of ethereal oddball epic that leads people to screech “KATE BUSH” even though I can’t think of a Kate Bush song that really sounds anything like it. Featuring lyrics that I’ll pretend to understand and a soaring chorus that could not have been done justice by a lesser voice, ‘The Flood’ begins as a slow existential ballad, then shifts tempo to become almost a completely different song, then afterwards moves back to the style from the beginning, taking us on a little journey not unlike the musical equivalent of a fantasy film.

MICHAEL JACKSON & AKON

‘Hold My Hand’

from the album Michael

Like ‘You Rock My World’, this is one of those songs that would be number one for months if it were sung by anyone but Michael Jackson. Because the rest of his catalogue is filled with such classics, new songs that would be a dream for any new artist feel underwhelming coming from such a legend. Well sure, ‘Hold My Hand’ is really quite good, but it’s no ‘Billie Jean’, is it? Once we move on from the fact that very few songs are as good as ‘Billie Jean’, we can appreciate ‘Hold My Hand’ for what it is: a well-written and catchy R&B ballad sung by a great voice, with help from Akon, whom I don’t find as disgusting as I’ve found many other people do. I actually quike like him and his voice, so his contribution on ‘Hold My Hand’, while slightly unnecessary for a song that could easily have been done solo, gives the song just that little bit more of a kick. Either way this is the best pothumous Michael Jackson song yet.

CEE LO GREEN

‘Fuck You!’

from the album The Lady Killer

Like Motown in an alternate universe, ‘Fuck You!’ is a true classic masquerading as a novelty. Cee Lo plays our clearly hurt protagonist who hides behind big sweary outbursts instead of just accepting how upset he really is – until he breaks down halfway through, to hilarious effect. With a chorus like that, catchy and fun to yell at the top of your lungs, how could ‘Fuck You!’ have been anything less than brilliant? Instead of relying on the LOL HE SAID FUCK factor, what we have here is an expertly crafted song performed by one of the most talented vocalists I think I’ve ever heard.

HURTS

‘Stay’

from the album Happiness

Earlier this year I had to do an assignment on a new artist for my Music Business course, and I chose to analyse Hurts, and ‘Stay’ in particular. Of note was how incredibly dramatic the lyrics and production are, but all with a knowing glance to the camera, a little window in the fourth wall that tells us Hurts know exactly what they’re doing and why. Never innocent, always polished and calculated, the atmosphere and theatrics in ‘Stay’ are the key to the artistic success of the song, but you still get the feeling that a raw, stripped back version without the big drums and layered vocals may still be just as powerful. The best thing about Hurts is first and foremost the strength of their vocals and songwriting, all the rest is a bonus that takes things to another level – but the touchstone of all their work is still their talent.

KANYE WEST

‘Power’

from the album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

‘Power’ touches on so many hot topics from Kanye’s past: social injustice, paranoia, politics, how great Kanye is, how awful Kanye is, all the people who have offended him, the eternal struggle between his good and bad sides, and all with one of his most breathtaking productions. I can hardly believe how huge this all sounds, especially the centrepiece, which starts casually – “How ‘Ye doin’? I’m surviving” – and then leads into the beat dropping out ushering in that amazing King Crimson sample, then moving into what sounds like something from the Streets Of Rage Sega Genesis game soundtrack. An absolute blockbuster, ‘Power’ is superhero theme music at its finest.

KYLIE MINOGUE

‘All The Lovers’

from the album Aphrodite

Lyrically simple but surprisingly melancholy, ‘All The Lovers’ features an understated vocal performance which is framed by rich, gorgeous production and this overwhelming feeling that Kylie is growing up – I know she’s grown up before, but she’s still going – and moving on. From what? I’m not sure. But as she sings “all the lovers that have gone before…” you can feel the history in her voice, and it is a lyric that wouldn’t sound right coming from some fresh-faced Elixie DooLottle who just graduated from stage school. This is the type of pop song you need to be mature to deliver effectively, and as Kylie floats above the beat, preparing us for the orgasmic instrumental climax (the first part of the song we all heard, and also the best bit), it becomes even clearer why she survived in the industry against all odds: because she was never afraid to add extra layers, extra elements to what could have been an emotionally empty club track.

ANTOINE DODSON & THE GREGORY BROTHERS ft. KELLY DODSON

‘Bed Intruder Song’

Perhaps my favourite pop culture story of 2010 is the Ballad Of Antoine Dodson. After his sister was the victim of an attempted rape, Antoine was on the news to talk about the attacker and delivered a chilling threat: “He’s climbing in your windows, he’s snatching your people up, so y’all need to hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, cos they’re raping everybody out here”. The hilarious nature of this mixed with his delivery made the video an instant viral hit, and when it was remixed by the Gregory Brothers, the whole thing reached a new level of fame, even making it to the Billboard Hot 100 and the BET Hip-Hop Awards. ‘Bed Intruder Song’ also happens to be one of the catchiest and most fun songs of the year, the original quote perfectly translated into autotuned bliss. It also has the bonus of being connected to a heartwarming story of something good coming from a bad situation. And call me crazy, but maybe there is more to ‘Bed Intruder Song’ than just being a fun remix of a viral video. There is – and stay with me here – a underlying sadness to the project (it was, after all, started off by an attempted rape) which is captured in the final line: “we don’t run around crying and acting sad, we just dust our shoulders off and keep on moving”, which reminds us that there are real people behind funny internet stories like this, and that not all of them are as lucky as this guy was.

NICOLE SCHERZINGER

‘Poison’

Who the fuck would have thought? With PCD dead are her solo career even deader, what was Nicole Scherzinger to do in 2010? Here’s what: rope in RedOne to give her his best non-Lady Gaga song ever, sing it like her life depended on it, and watch it become one of the best songs of the year. And suddenly, on the verge of 2011, Nicole Scherzinger looks like one of the most exciting things about the new year. There were few pop moments this year as invigorating as the desperate cry of “I got that poison! I got that poison!!” and even fewer songs that lent themselves so easily to repeated listens.