The 100 Best Songs Of 2011: 60-51

60. REBECCA BLACK ‘Friday’

When did ‘Friday’ go from hilarious joke to song that I listened to and sang along to without irony? This is seriously amazing – her voice is still nasally as fuck but she’s proven elsewhere that she does have talent, and the lyrics are awful but their charm is in their ineptness. This is truly the definition of so bad it’s good. I love picking up little things that I previously missed, like the spoken “we gotta get down” at 2:39, or the background ad-libs during the final choruses. This is just such fun, fun, fun, fun, and is also the best meme ever. Queen of 2011.

59. BARBRA STREISAND ‘The Windmills Of Your Mind’

From one supreme vocalist to another! Barbra’s version of ‘The Windmills Of Your Mind’, from her album What Matters Most, was one of the most sublime, most flawless performances of the year. Her crystal-clear voice envelopes the lyrics with such clarity and professionalism, as the minimal instrumentation guides her gently. But really, no instruments are needed – if this was acapella it would be just as stunning. Babs is truly among the best singers I have ever heard in my life, and ‘The Windmills Of Your Mind’ shows that after almost fifty years in the industry she is just as talented as ever.

58. CLARE MAGUIRE ‘The Last Dance’

“Got to try, move on, but I promise you
I will kiss your crown when life takes me down
I’ll save my last dance for you my friend”

Written in memory of Michael Jackson, ‘The Last Dance’ was the massive standout from Clare Maguire’s very middling Light After Dark album. While the LP left a lot to be desired, ‘The Last Dance’ is a wonder to behold, riding colossal drums and Clare’s stunning voice to work as a standard love song and as a beautiful tribute to my all-time favourite artist. This and ‘Ain’t Nobody’ show a lot of promise – hopefully Clare can get it together for her next record, because her potential is through the roof.

57. LUCIANA ft. BETTY WHITE ‘I’m Still Hot’

The fact that Betty White is in my top 100 songs of the year is amazing. Grandmother Of The World, Betty is about 400 years old and is still working, still moving, still going to the toilet by herself and is even featured on the definitive version of 2011′s hottest club track, Luciana’s ‘I’m Still Hot’. With life-giving lyrics like “I’m still a Golden Girl/I may be a senior, so what?/I’m still hot”, Betty slayed all of my fave over-70 popstars (Yoko, Madonna, Vanessa Amorosi) and provided us with the nursing home anthem of the year.

56. BRITNEY SPEARS ‘Hold It Against Me’

Remember how excited we all were when this debuted? It sounded amazing then and it still sounds really good, even if the impact has dulled a little with time. From the club-ready chorus to the much-discussed dubstep breakdown, ‘Hold It Against Me’ is completely commercial and radio ready, yet it is harder and more interesting than previous lead single ‘Womanizer’ and instantly better than basically everything on Circus. There were better tracks on Femme Fatale, but the rush of ‘Hold It Against Me’ captures the excitement of new Britney perfectly.

55. TORI AMOS ‘Carry’

So, so beautiful. ‘Carry’ is an absolute triumph for Tori, who hasn’t done a song this simple and pretty since who knows when. As this list goes on I’m noticing that I valued simplicity almost as much as I valued my dearly beloved melodrama this year. It doesn’t get much more basic than this: Tori + piano, and the result is a floaty, calm lullaby. The best song from Night Of Hunters by far.

54. WILLOW SMITH ft. NICKI MINAJ ‘Fireball’

It’s no ‘Whip My Hair’, but what is? ‘Fireball’ is Willow’s attempt to win back some of the appeal she lost when ’21st Century Girl’ flopped, and while it doesn’t seem to be doing much yet, it’s been given an excellent video and Team Willow are doing everything they can to make this a hit. Nicki Minaj shows up for a G-rated but still awesome verse, and Willow does her general “I’m amazing” schtick while dancing around like a lunatic. A hugely appealing mess.

53. WEIRD AL YANKOVIC ‘Perform This Way’

The king returned with this genius parody of Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’, which was so serious that it was just begging to be made fun of. Touching on multiple elements of Gaga over the past year – the little monsters, the Madonna controversy, and the outrageous outfits – ‘Perform This Way’ was clever, well put together and most of all, funny. Bonus points for delivering the most WTF video of the year.

52. SHANIA TWAIN ‘Today Is Your Day’

Shania lives! A winner’s single without the reality show, ‘Today Is Your Day’ is the inspirational, raise-your-hands, hug-your-mother song of praise that reintroduced us to the Queen of Modern Country. Plunging us straight back into the her signature sound from ten years ago, Shania’s first single in yonks was full of cheese, full of Hallmark crap and I absolutely loved it. I sincerely hope an album is going to follow this one-off, because I am gagging for some new exclamation-point filled titles and uplifting female empowerment anthems. Let’s go girls!

51. RIHANNA ‘Where Have You Been’

The spiritual sister of ‘We Found Love’, the other Calvin Harris produced track on Talk That Talk, ‘Where Have You Been’ is a huge rave-up that builds and builds into an explosive mess of sounds. Using “compositional elements” of classic old-man song ‘I’ve Been Everywhere’, the creative yet commercial production lends itself to the way Rihanna has approached the track, which seems to be “sing the words and then get out of the way of the instrumental”. I love you Rihanna but Calvin is the star on this one.

The 23 Best Albums Of 2011: #23-#16

23. WEIRD AL YANKOVIC Alpocalypse

In 2011, Weird Al returned to the art of the album for the first time in five years, and Alpocalypse was anchored by one of his greatest ever songs, ‘Perform This Way’. In addition to the hilarious artwork there were also excellent Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus parodies, plus great originals like the amazing ‘Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me’. All of this made Alpocalypse a welcome comeback for the king of pop comedy.

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22. BARBRA STREISAND What Matters Most: Barbra Streisand Sings The Lyrics Of Alan & Marilyn Bergman

Voice Of The Millennium Barbra Streisand quietly delivered one of the simplest, most gorgeous albums of the year with What Matters Most. On the strength of voice and lyrics alone, this collection of songs written by legendary songwriters Alan & Marilyn Bergman almost matches the subtle brilliance of Barbra’s 2009 Love Is The Answer. Now all we need is a club album produced by Duck Sauce. Werque, Babs!

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21. PAUL SIMON So Beautiful Or So What

I wasn’t sure what to expect of So Beautiful Or So What. My Simon & Garfunkel fandom is only a few years old and I haven’t had much of a chance to delve into the majority of Paul Simon’s solo work beyond his hits collection The Essential. This turned out to be a very strong set of songs from a writer now in his seventies. The title track, the fun ‘Getting Ready For Christmas Day’ and the fantastic ‘Rewrite’ were the best moments, but the record as a whole feels both refreshing and classic.

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20. BLINK-182 Neighborhoods

The 14-year-old me freaked the fuck out when Blink-182 released their amazing reunion record Neighborhoods this year. A natural continuation of their last album Blink-182, released way back in 2003, this one had nothing up to the standard of ‘I Miss You’ or ‘Violence’ but there were some great songs here like ‘Up All Night’, ‘Ghost On The Dance Floor’ and ‘Heart’s All Gone’. Fuel for nostalgia and a solid modern rock record, Neighborhoods proved that little had been lost while Blink had been away.

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19. AMY WINEHOUSE Lioness: Hidden Treasures

The loss of Amy Winehouse was one of the most devastating blows to the music industry in 2011. It was different to the loss of Michael Jackson, for example, whose best years were behind him. Amy was in the middle of her career, with so much potential and so many years left to create. Lioness: Hidden Treasures, like Michael’s posthumous album, should not be judged as a studio album but as a collection of songs made without their driving force present to oversee the proceedings. What resulted in Lioness was a strong but uneven collection which had highs in ‘Our Day Will Come’, ‘Will You Love Me Tomorrow?’ and ‘Body And Soul’, while much of the rest was middling but still impressive thanks to that voice. Rest in peace, Amy.

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18. KELLY ROWLAND Here I Am

Work your fist everyone, Kelly’s back! Well, as “back” as you can be when you’ve been releasing singles constantly since 2009. But finally, a new album and a fantastic one at that. The dance tracks are a bit weak – I much prefer Kelly is R&B mode – but this still manages to be consistent while jumping between genres. From the colossal ‘Motivation’ to the smooth ‘Lay It On Me’ to the classic ‘Commander’ and beyond, Here I Am is by far Kelly’s greatest solo achievement and a defining modern R&B album.

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17. JED KURZEL Snowtown: Original Soundtrack

Snowtown was an intensely creepy film and it needed an intensely creepy soundtrack. The score, composed by Jed Kurzel, brother of the director, perfectly captured the mood of the film: surreal and yet frighteningly close to home, full of dread, fear and anger. The droning electronics were an essential part of experiencing Snowtown, and I’m glad that thanks to the digital-only soundtrack I can walk around the city pretending to be in a horror film.

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16. MELANIE C The Sea

Awkward title (can’t wait for Melanie B’s new album The Bee), excellent comeback album. Melanie C had been out of the game since the Spice Girls reunion, and The Sea represents a creative reinvigoration. ‘Think About It’ was the endlessly catchy lead single, but elsewhere on the record tracks like ‘Weak’, ‘Burn’ and the epic, eight-minute closer ‘Enemy’ showcased Mel’s stunning vocals and songwriting skills. Now if all the other solo Spice Girls could stop counting their millions and release new albums that would be perfect.

Album Review: Weird Al Yankovic – Alpocalypse

Alpocalypse is the first Weird Al Yankovic album that I’m hearing right as it comes out, having heard all his older material way after the fact or in bits and pieces rather than as a full record. Preceded by the Internet Leaks EP and the tremendous single ‘Perform This Way’, this has already become Al’s highest charting album on the Billboard 200, continuing his amazing career trajectory that began over thirty years ago.

‘Perform This Way’ is an obvious highlight, and it rightfully leads off the album. Elsewhere, Weird Al tradition prevails as humour is found in making over-the-top pop songs completely mundane (‘Whatever You Like’), or making songs about mundane things completely over-the-top (the ‘You Belong With Me’ parody ‘TMZ’). Miley Cyrus and B.o.B. are also parodied on ‘Party In The CIA’ and ‘Another Tattoo’, but the really creative songs on Alpocalypse are the originals.

‘Craiglist’, a style parody of The Doors, climaxes with a wonderful crescendo of “Do you want my styrofoam peanuts?”, and ‘Skipper Dan’ is actually pretty depressing, a story of a would-be actor who had his dream crushed and now works as a tour guide. Don’t let anyone ever tell you every Weird Al song is 100% comedy. ‘Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me’ is a fantastic Jim Steinman pastiche that might just be my second-favourite on the album, hilarious, well produced and wonderfully written.

No Weird Al record is complete without a polka, and on ‘Polka Face’ we get a quick trip through the Hot 100 of the last few years, from Britney to Pink to Bieber to Katy to Jamie to Taio to Ke$ha to Lady Antebellum to Gaga to Flo Rida and more. Full of highlights and with very few slow moments, the five year wait between 2006′s Straight Outta Lynwood and Alpocalypse was well worth it.

8/10

Single Review: Weird Al Yankovic – ‘Perform This Way’

Weird Al Yankovic, now in the fourth decade of his career, has been a presence for the majority of my music-listening life. I first remember becoming aware of him when I was about nine and his Running With Scissors album was popular. His brand of parody, family-friendly and with roots in the sort of cartoon humour that has been out of fashion for some time, has remained largely unchanged, yet – and I’m dead serious about this – he is up there with Madonna as the artist who has shifted with the times most easily and frequently over the past thirty years. The Essential Weird Al Yankovic is one of the best collections I own.

‘Perform This Way’, his first major single since 2006′s ‘White & Nerdy’ became his biggest hit ever, has all the hallmarks of  a classic Weird Al parody. The music for this ‘Born This Way’ parody is, as always, slightly less polished than the song being made fun of, and Al’s trademark delivery is as energetic and effective as it was in the eighties. ‘Born This Way’ was delivered with such earnestness and conviction that it was practically begging to be parodied, and Al transforms the call for equality into a rant about ridiculous outfits, from Gaga’s point of view.

“I’ll be a troll or evil queen
I’ll be a human jelly bean
‘Cause every day is Halloween
For me”

The lyrics aren’t quite as clever as ‘White & Nerdy’, which will likely be the only Weird Al song many of Gaga’s younger fans will be able to remember. But the sheer joy of hearing Weird Al, in classic mode, doing Lady Gaga, is enough. “I’m Frankenstein, I’m Avatar!” is all I could have hoped for and more.

7.5/10