The 100 Best Songs Of 2011: 60-51

60. REBECCA BLACK ‘Friday’

When did ‘Friday’ go from hilarious joke to song that I listened to and sang along to without irony? This is seriously amazing – her voice is still nasally as fuck but she’s proven elsewhere that she does have talent, and the lyrics are awful but their charm is in their ineptness. This is truly the definition of so bad it’s good. I love picking up little things that I previously missed, like the spoken “we gotta get down” at 2:39, or the background ad-libs during the final choruses. This is just such fun, fun, fun, fun, and is also the best meme ever. Queen of 2011.

59. BARBRA STREISAND ‘The Windmills Of Your Mind’

From one supreme vocalist to another! Barbra’s version of ‘The Windmills Of Your Mind’, from her album What Matters Most, was one of the most sublime, most flawless performances of the year. Her crystal-clear voice envelopes the lyrics with such clarity and professionalism, as the minimal instrumentation guides her gently. But really, no instruments are needed – if this was acapella it would be just as stunning. Babs is truly among the best singers I have ever heard in my life, and ‘The Windmills Of Your Mind’ shows that after almost fifty years in the industry she is just as talented as ever.

58. CLARE MAGUIRE ‘The Last Dance’

“Got to try, move on, but I promise you
I will kiss your crown when life takes me down
I’ll save my last dance for you my friend”

Written in memory of Michael Jackson, ‘The Last Dance’ was the massive standout from Clare Maguire’s very middling Light After Dark album. While the LP left a lot to be desired, ‘The Last Dance’ is a wonder to behold, riding colossal drums and Clare’s stunning voice to work as a standard love song and as a beautiful tribute to my all-time favourite artist. This and ‘Ain’t Nobody’ show a lot of promise – hopefully Clare can get it together for her next record, because her potential is through the roof.

57. LUCIANA ft. BETTY WHITE ‘I’m Still Hot’

The fact that Betty White is in my top 100 songs of the year is amazing. Grandmother Of The World, Betty is about 400 years old and is still working, still moving, still going to the toilet by herself and is even featured on the definitive version of 2011′s hottest club track, Luciana’s ‘I’m Still Hot’. With life-giving lyrics like “I’m still a Golden Girl/I may be a senior, so what?/I’m still hot”, Betty slayed all of my fave over-70 popstars (Yoko, Madonna, Vanessa Amorosi) and provided us with the nursing home anthem of the year.

56. BRITNEY SPEARS ‘Hold It Against Me’

Remember how excited we all were when this debuted? It sounded amazing then and it still sounds really good, even if the impact has dulled a little with time. From the club-ready chorus to the much-discussed dubstep breakdown, ‘Hold It Against Me’ is completely commercial and radio ready, yet it is harder and more interesting than previous lead single ‘Womanizer’ and instantly better than basically everything on Circus. There were better tracks on Femme Fatale, but the rush of ‘Hold It Against Me’ captures the excitement of new Britney perfectly.

55. TORI AMOS ‘Carry’

So, so beautiful. ‘Carry’ is an absolute triumph for Tori, who hasn’t done a song this simple and pretty since who knows when. As this list goes on I’m noticing that I valued simplicity almost as much as I valued my dearly beloved melodrama this year. It doesn’t get much more basic than this: Tori + piano, and the result is a floaty, calm lullaby. The best song from Night Of Hunters by far.

54. WILLOW SMITH ft. NICKI MINAJ ‘Fireball’

It’s no ‘Whip My Hair’, but what is? ‘Fireball’ is Willow’s attempt to win back some of the appeal she lost when ’21st Century Girl’ flopped, and while it doesn’t seem to be doing much yet, it’s been given an excellent video and Team Willow are doing everything they can to make this a hit. Nicki Minaj shows up for a G-rated but still awesome verse, and Willow does her general “I’m amazing” schtick while dancing around like a lunatic. A hugely appealing mess.

53. WEIRD AL YANKOVIC ‘Perform This Way’

The king returned with this genius parody of Gaga’s ‘Born This Way’, which was so serious that it was just begging to be made fun of. Touching on multiple elements of Gaga over the past year – the little monsters, the Madonna controversy, and the outrageous outfits – ‘Perform This Way’ was clever, well put together and most of all, funny. Bonus points for delivering the most WTF video of the year.

52. SHANIA TWAIN ‘Today Is Your Day’

Shania lives! A winner’s single without the reality show, ‘Today Is Your Day’ is the inspirational, raise-your-hands, hug-your-mother song of praise that reintroduced us to the Queen of Modern Country. Plunging us straight back into the her signature sound from ten years ago, Shania’s first single in yonks was full of cheese, full of Hallmark crap and I absolutely loved it. I sincerely hope an album is going to follow this one-off, because I am gagging for some new exclamation-point filled titles and uplifting female empowerment anthems. Let’s go girls!

51. RIHANNA ‘Where Have You Been’

The spiritual sister of ‘We Found Love’, the other Calvin Harris produced track on Talk That Talk, ‘Where Have You Been’ is a huge rave-up that builds and builds into an explosive mess of sounds. Using “compositional elements” of classic old-man song ‘I’ve Been Everywhere’, the creative yet commercial production lends itself to the way Rihanna has approached the track, which seems to be “sing the words and then get out of the way of the instrumental”. I love you Rihanna but Calvin is the star on this one.

The 100 Best Songs Of 2011: 90-81

90. WILLOW SMITH ’21st Century Girl’

The life-defining ‘Whip My Hair’ was clearly one of the songs of 2010, so when ’21st Century Girl’ debuted, it was seen as a bit of a disappointment due to it being a bit… well, basic. But the flyest fetus in the game sold this generic beat with her wide-eyed, confident vocal performance and one hell of a video. The chorus is awesome, and if you can forget that you’re singing along to an obscenely rich pre-teen talk about how awesome her life is, there’s a lot of fun to be had here.

89. NICOLA ROBERTS ‘Lucky Day’

That “WAAA WAAA WAAAA WAAAAA” in the first verse of ‘Lucky Day’ is a really, really annoying flaw that probably killed this otherwise great song at radio. Nicola’s voice is gorgeous in the right environment, and while it takes a little getting used to here, the hugeness of this song and the completely unselfconscious vocal performance cannot be ruined by a few irritating moments. “Could it be my/Could it be my lucky day?” repeated into infinity makes me want to go skipping down the street in a sack like a psycho.

88. LEONA LEWIS ‘Hurt’

Anything that gets rock purists riled up is fine by me. That “15 Disappointing Facts About Music” list doing the rounds lately fills me such glee, and I lol at everybody who gets pissed off about it, and pissed off about this. This take on this Nine Inch Nails classic is not as good as the original or Johnny Cash’s definitive version. But it is absolutely gorgeous, done in Leona’s trademark cover style, building up and up into an epic crescendo. She hits all the notes flawlessly, and she brings extra bombast to a song that is already completely drenched in theatrics and melodrama.

87. RIHANNA ‘You Da One’

I think Rihanna’s first two albums are underrated. In the minds of many she had two singles, ‘Pon De Replay’ and ‘SOS’, before ‘Umbrella’, when songs like ‘Break It Off’ and ‘We Ride’ were truly great and do not deserve to be forgotten. How awesome, then, that Rihanna revisited that sound for ‘You Da One’, the second single from Talk That Talk. Over a midtempo-but-hard-so-it-doesn’t-sound-midtempo beat, Rih gives us some music of the sun that is meaningless, pretty and perfect for blasting out of car windows.

86. SNEAKY SOUND SYSTEM ‘Big’

I wish this was a ballad. I know that Sneaky Sound System are a dance act and this is the type of thing they’re known for, but imagine how absolutely stunning this would be with an orchestra and all that shit? Luckily, the shiny disco backing that is here is more than enough to make ‘Big’ a dance epic, a punchy love song that should have been all over the radio. I must say I fell out of touch with Sneaky Sound System during their second album but now I’m back on board thanks to the brilliant ‘We Love’ and this, one of the best Australian singles in recent memory.

85. DRAKE ft. RIHANNA ‘Take Care’

Oh, the melancholy. This song is drowned in an echoing sadness, and both artists involved turn in flawless performances. Reminiscent of Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreaks, this song rolls along on subtle but powerful drums and a piano loop that lodges itself into your brain, ensuring that the emotions of the song stay with you long after it is finished. Drake plays insecure, Rihanna plays lover/mother-figure, and together they build ‘Take Care’ into a raging but quiet storm.

84. DARREN HAYES ‘Angel’

The best pop cover in a year where there were like three released in total, Darren’s take on this Madonna classic is the perfect B-side to the similarly bright ‘Talk Talk Talk’. Like his previous cover of ‘Dress You Up’, this sticks pretty close to the original, sounding very eighties and not messing with the song in any significant way, which works out well. Darren clearly loves the source material and he, as always, sounds absolutely fantastic.

83. DR. DRE ft. EMINEM & SKYLAR GREY ‘I Need A Doctor’

What an epic. The three elements here – Eminem’s desperate verses, Dre’s defensive response and Skylar’s explosive chorus – all combine to provide some of the most dramatic moments to be heard in music all year. The chorus is perfection, the production is beyond brilliant and this brings back some of the drama and emotion that was missing from Eminem’s last two albums. Whether Dr. Dre will ever hurry the fuck up and put out another album is unknown, but if he keeps releasing amazing singles like this I don’t mind the wait.

82. BEYONCÉ ‘Best Thing I Never Had’

Yeah, it sounds a bit like ‘Irreplaceable’ but ‘Best Thing I Never Had’ is too great in its own right to be brought down by a bit of recycling. I’m a bit confused as to why Bey is thinking about this guy if she’s supposedly really, really over him (and on her wedding day in the video? WTF?) but this is a finger-waving ladies/sassy gays anthem for the ages. Yell it into the mirror while pretending some high school non-sweetheart is standing in front of you, sing it at karaoke with your drunk mess friends, and keep this close to your heart always.

81. CHER LLOYD ft. MIKE POSNER ‘With Ur Love’

That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love. Few songs released this year were so bright, so sunny, so full of pure joy. ‘With Ur Love’ is a lost bubblegum hit from the early seventies transported into 2011, and Cher Lloyd (I just can’t refer to her by her first name alone, okay) proves her worth as a pop heavyweight of tomorrow with her on point delivery. Mike Posner is shit but his part is small and he’s hot so I’ll let it slide.

Single Review: Willow Smith – ’21st Century Girl’

So some people have a problem with Willow Smith, Queen of Pop. Blah blah she’s too young blah blah if she was a regular person she’d never get close to recording studio blah blah. Some criticisms are pretty justified – we’ll get to them – but the most ridiculous is that she is “sexing it up” (I actually saw that phrase used to describe Willow the other day), which is inappropriate for a ten-year-old. I can’t imagine anyone who has actually heard Willow’s songs and seen her videos think that she is “sexing” anything “up”. One of the best things about her is that she doesn’t act like anything except a ten-year-old.

Anyway, ‘Whip My Hair’ was one of the best songs of 2010 even though I think I’ll be giving it a rest for a while lest it lose its appeal forever, and conveniently, there is a new Willow single for me to play to death. This one doesn’t have a gimmick – other than the continued novelty of her age – and with a few sexual references thrown in, could easily be a Rihanna single. It sounds a little bit too much like Rihanna, and Willow will have to find a sound of her own if she wants to be taken seriously in the future, but for now it isn’t a big deal.

The chorus is the big news here, it is almost as huge and exciting as the hook from the previous single, even if it isn’t as creative. The verses are a little weaker, and at certain points we hear more of Willow’s “kid voice” than we have before. The fact that Willow has actually only ever lived in the 21st century coupled with the fact that she sings of the good life without ever having known anything about the shit life can make the rest of us feel a. old and b. poor, but mostly this is just a great song.

“It’s a beautiful life” – yeah, I’ll bet it is, Willow.

7/10

The 100 Best Songs Of 2010: #10-6

MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

‘Oh No!’

from the album The Family Jewels

I don’t know how ‘Oh No!’ passed me by when I first got The Family Jewels, but when I saw the remix EP was cheap on iTunes I figured why not give it another chance, and holy Florence am I glad I did. Every line is another classic quotable quote from “TV taught me how to feel/Now real life has no appeal” to “I always feel like I’m the worst so I always act like I’m the best”, and the frantic, confused pace gives way to an explosive chorus. Her tale of struggling for success is an engrossing story that so many can relate to, and they say write about what you know – that’s what she’s done here. ‘Oh No!’ is, so far, the definitive Marina statement.

KELLY ROWLAND ft. DAVID GUETTA

‘Commander’

I’ve always loved poor old Kelendria Rowlandria, after all, she was the lead on the best Destiny’s Child song – ‘Bootylicious’, of course – and has released some wonderful singles over the years. ‘Stole’, ‘Work’, ‘Like This’, ‘When Love Takes Over’ have all had their place in my heart over the years, but in 2010 she delivered her greatest solo song yet: ‘Commander’. Controlling the beats and sending them spinning into all different directions with a yelp or a “DAAAAYNCE”, Kelly gives what could have been an overly clichéd club track a new lease on life, and when that chorus kicks in – she’s never sounded better or more confident.

KYLIE MINOGUE

‘Get Outta My Way’

from the album Aphrodite

Like Lisa Simpson’s dance teacher repeating “tappa, tappa, tappa”, I find myself repeating “chorus, chorus, chorus”. But really, the chorus is the heart of the pop song, the pinnacle, the peak, the moment in which a song can rise to another level or fall apart. ‘Get Outta My Way’ is one of those songs that would be pretty amazing anyway, but that chorus, my God! It fills my ears with joy like a thousand Christmases mixed with an orgasm mixed with that thrill I get when I see someone trip over. I don’t know what else to say, except that I worship at the altar of ‘Get Outta My Way’ and I think you should too.

KELIS

‘Acapella’

from the album Flesh Tone

Now this also boasts an amazing chorus, but in a very different way. Instead of being the climax, it is just another layer of the mini-symphony, and the genius lies in the way the chorus is woven in and out of so many other brilliant little elements. The lyrics, Kelis’ delivery, the relentless riff in the background, and that is without even thinking of the simple genius of the premise: “before you, my whole life was acapella”. If anyone has done that before I’ve never heard it and it struck me as incredibly fresh and original. Flesh Tone is a true classic and ‘Acapella’ is the album at the peak of its powers.

WILLOW SMITH

‘Whip My Hair’

Willow Smith: she whips her hair back and forth, she’s cooler than you, and her song was better than any of the songs released by all her – much older – female rivals this year (with the exception of one, which we’ll get to in a second). ‘Whip My Hair’ succeeds in every way: it’s catchy as fuck, it had a great video, it inspired an internet phenomenon, it sent pop music fans into a frenzy. Perhaps most importantly, ten-year-old Willow is never sexualised in any way: she’s ten and she’s singing about things ten-year-olds care about. She ain’t doing nothing wrong, so don’t tell her nothing. The fact that the song is so incredibly good just takes this over the edge. A novelty classic, or the start of a career that will last a lifetime? Only time (I knew Enya would show up in this list somehow) will tell, but for now we can just bathe in the glow of ‘Whip My Hair’ and all its greatness.